dec 16, 2025

laughing my ass offff i started working on a really cute project with my boss this month and got super excited to illustrate for it now i got fucking tendonitis today........ i'm left speechless once more...

dec 12, 2025

emotionally recovering from horrible horrible things. i keep getting stuck on how hard it is to force myself to draw as if it hasn't always been like this for me. like i do want to, i think about it all the time, but actually starting feels undoable. it sucks because even when i do draw i think abt how i should've just dropped out instead of pushing through and graduating when i still had the energy to do anything. it feels like i used up whatever momentum i had on finishing school and now i'm mid bro i'm washed as hell. recently it's gotten a bit better but i can feel how that phase is wearing off now.

dec 08, 2025

i finally got my business cards printeddd yay... they're so cute i'm excited for comic con next year AND i'm lowkey getting cash money thanks to my commissions... all that people want is minimal animation in their chibis bro all is well lowkey

dec 03, 2025

spotify wrapped bro just kill me. something happened within me this year and it starts with ry and ends in den. (p!atd top artist haver) but i think the worst part is poster boy being my top song girl bye... i dont even know him like that...

nov 30, 2025

animated for the first time in a hot minute this week because i found a song that makes me want to live and went christmas shopping for my friends which yielded absolutely fucking nothing. i'm upset because i know damn well my friends are about to get me the cutest gifts ever and i got nothin on me man. i can't just keep giving them handmade shit either ik people say it's better than just buying random bullshit but on everyone's soul it's lame as fuck

nov 24, 2025

starting off on a lighter note today ^^; i really need to watch more movies.. my topsters getting old i need new fun stuff. i want to watch the rest of satoshi kon's movie argh

oh tampopo i love you so dearly... contender for best movie ever made. i might be biased because movies that have a few bizarre erotic moments just do it for me. however i just think the topic of food and hunger being the one universal language of every creature in the universe has sooo much potential and tapopo shows it perfectly AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT it's visually gorgeous and has a lovable protagonist AND deuteragonist THAT DON'T END UP GETTING TOGETHER IN THE END. let's all just dance and run around in endless grass plains

another fav movie of mine is chungking express but it didn't make the list this time. let's see how i feel about it in liKE month or two

nov 17, 2025

finished today, couldve gotten it done in 3 hours but started slacking and eventually forgot. only remembered again because i feel the need to complain so i will.
i've been reflecting a ton, mostly circling back to the past year or two and thinking about all of it from different angles... realizing who i used to think i was, and coming to terms with the fact that i was a coward in many many ways, someone who was desperately trying to escape girlhood rather than accepting and confronting it lol, it#s all left me feeling really angry and maybe even a little more sadistic in how i think and observe now. trying to put all of this into words now feels almost entirely impossible bruh the moment i try to make it coherent it slips away from me. i genuinely dont think a single week has gone by where i haven't been reminded, of how little men think of me and of other women in general. it's been a constant awareness of being looked down on and subtly ruled over, as if i couldn't possibly know what i like or what i don't still stops me in my tracks every time it happens. the reality check never softens and it honestly blows me away each time lolll.

it's exhausting to notice how often i'm expected to shrink my certainty and to secondguess my likes and dislikes? and even now or every time i start talking about it like this, i feel hysterical in a way that's just SOOO EMBARRASSING. like talking plainly about misogyny and the patriarchy or about how pervasive and intimate it all is immediately turns me into and SJW. i can hear it in my own head sometimes telling me I'M being hysterical oe that i should calm down even though NOTHING im thinking is untrue or exaggerated. it's infuriating to realize how effective that conditioning is!!!!!!! and yet the irony is that this hysterical state feels like the most honest i can ever be. i wish every girl in the world could just stop numbing themselves to it all.

and yet all of this doesn't mean i'm the number one feminist misandrist whatever i still fall for all of it it's really sad and hypocritical man

nov 15, 2025

annual attempt at creating a private space that doesn't stress me out as other social media do. this time i just stopped giving a fuck about looks since in the end it's for me and my friends to see. i guess